193: Madi Diaz - Ambivalence

We've had a short run of hot days and blue skies over here, a little final summer flourish perhaps, most probably. I tried hard to make the most of it, a camp on the beach last week, some swims, a big mountain climb yesterday. Those things we do to embrace the s e a s o n . Today is not that. It's cool and grey, clouds are clinging to the tops of the hills, smothering most of them, hiding the morning. It feels calm and quiet, unflustered away from the heat. Sometimes you need that too, an excuse to settle.

From that quiet, uncoloured corner comes 'Ambivalence', the new song from Madi Diaz, a further glimpse inside her October-released new album Fatal Optimist. Beginning with the hushed sound of evening crickets (and I'm always a sucker for those), the song is plaintive and somewhat wistful, a resigned sigh from the aftermath of something bigger than itself. Indeed, of the album, Diaz says:

“Fatal Optimism is the innate hope for something magical. It’s the weird faith that kicks in while knowing that there is just plain risk that comes with wanting someone or something. It’s when you have no control over the outcome, but still choose to experience every moment that happens, and put your whole heart in it.”

Held within that frame, 'Ambivalence' feels like the torn edges of a bigger picture, a moment of resignation, a wilting. It's beautiful too, Madi's voice feeling raw and clawing, suppressed by the weight of it all. Singing over a single strummed guitar, she's wrapped up in the ambience of her surroundings, caught in a dream of dancing the night away, feeling so far from it.

Fatal Optimist LP is released October 10th, via ANTI-